Boosting Self Esteem With EFT
Worries about self esteem afflict millions of people worldwide. Too many of us worry about how we measure up compared to all the other beautiful, athletic, insightful and artistic people around us. We live in a goal-oriented society where our ideals of perfection, heaped on us by the media, are unattainable by most. In wasting time worrying about our shortcomings, we lose the opportunity to use each moment for the joy of appreciating our lives as they are.
When I was a child, I was shy beyond what I’ve seen in anyone else. I let my sister do the talking, feeling I couldn’t compete with her conviviality. I never knew what to say to people I’d recently met, and kept to myself as much as possible. I wondered what more popular girls had to talk about; I saw them chattering together incessantly.
I was worried I might say the wrong thing. I stressed over having nothing to say. My power of speech was blocked. I wasted precious moments in shy, suffering silence when I could have been speaking freely, enjoying friendships, and living a normal child’s life.
Since enjoyment of life makes everything worthwhile, boosting self esteem should be of primary importance to anyone who is concerned about issues such as not feeling loved, feeling inadequate, extreme shyness, or feeling a lack of success in life. Many if not all feelings of personal failure are tied into self esteem issues.
Boosting self esteem is easy with Emotional Freedom Techniques, EFT.* It helps to have confidence in the EFT process, but as we know, EFT often works whether you believe in it or not, and when nothing else produces results. EFT could have helped that shy child to learn to speak freely and without fear. EFT could help anyone feeling blocked socially, financially, or artistically.
One of the worst emotional problems I had when I started using EFT over a year ago was that I felt unworthy of being loved. I felt inadequate, which created a huge abyss in the relationship I was trying to build with my new boyfriend. In fact, for a while it looked like we wouldn’t make it through the forest of my fears and inadequacy feelings. Many of the issues I initially tapped on concerned my buildup of low self esteem feelings. I explored the reasons for my fears, and tapped on each of them in turn.
In my case the problems originated with my relationship with my older sister, who I considered in all ways better than me. She was the oldest, the pretty blonde one, the talkative one, the mother-child who tried to take care of us all. She got perfect grades in school and had the perfect boyfriends and the car and the college education and good career. My life has been a perfect contrast to hers! I had a lot to tap about, but working through these feelings of inadequacy was crucial to recovering from the fears that made my relationship-building incredibly frightening.
My first EFT sessions may have started something like this: “Even though my sister did better than me in school, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Or: “Even though my sister talked freely and I couldn’t because I was shy, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
When doing EFT for issues like these, other issues come to mind. While I’m doing the tapping process, I often have some secondary issue bubble up from my sub-conscious, and I take mental note of it. When I’m done tapping, I take a deep, slow breath, and meditate for a moment to see how much the original issue still bothers me. If I’m over it, I can go on to the next issue that occurred to me. In this way I can tackle many aspects or facets of a problem in one session.
When doing EFT it is important to address each of these aspects separately, and to tap on any individual hurtful events of the past that come to mind. Years later, we may still be psychologically reeling from the impact of painful or shocking events. Some things sink in and never totally go away, leaving us feeling blocked energetically and in our outward lives. EFT is a method for removing those blocks, restoring our health, and giving us back the emotional freedom to live life fully without fears or pain.
So if you are feeling anxious or fearful about life and think you’re not doing as well as others, take a few moments to explore the roots of your feelings. Write a list if you need to. Then start tapping.
I worked through the painful old feelings and thankfully, my relationship with my boyfriend is still thriving. Just yesterday we had the best day ever; we drove to Mt. Shasta for shopping and dinner out. Two women spent time talking to my boyfriend and I didn’t get stressed at all – I enjoyed seeing him have someone new to talk to for a change. I didn’t waste any time thinking I wasn’t good enough because I wasn’t able to talk exactly the same way they did.
* Learn EFT at home! Get Gary Craig’s FREE e-book now!
, produced and directed by Anodea Judith. We rented it and watched it twice this week. My boyfriend, Bob, is so taken with the beauty of this DVD, he wants to own his own copy. I am entranced, but not sure I want to see it fifty times even though it runs only about 30 minutes.
